The Relationship Between Parents and Children

The Relationship Between Parents and Children

Your parents and your children, you know not which of them is the nearer to you in usefulness; this is an ordinance from Allah: Surely Allah is Knowing, Wise.” Noble Qur’an (4:11)

The above verse from Noble Qur’an shows the Islamic attitude towards the relationship between parents and children. From infancy to adulthood, it is unparalleled tender love and care of the parents which brings the child from the stage of absolute weakness and helplessness to perfect strength and independence.

Conversely, in old age a man becomes like a small child; the mind and body turn so weak that Allah (SWT) says in Noble Qur’an: If We grant long life to any, We cause him to be reversed in nature: Will they not then understand? Noble Qur’an (36:68)

Yesterday, your parents looked after you when you were too feeble to look after yourself; today you must look after them.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and Loving Children

Once a companion (Sahabi) visited the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), when he was engaged in caressing his two grandchildren, Hasan and Hussain. Being surprised at this act, the companion said:

“O Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)! Do you also caress children, I have ten children but I have never fondled even one of them.”

Thereupon the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) raised his eyes and remarked: “It seems mercy and kindness has left your heart.”

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was very kind to children and loved them very much. He used to carry them on his shoulders. The children would become very happy and laugh. Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), too, would become happy at the pure happiness and laughter of the children and a smile would appear on his face.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to give his Salaam (greetings) to children and would tell his companions (Sahaba): “I give my Salaam to children and respect them, and Muslims should follow my behavior and always be warm and loving with children.”

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to speak about children – boys and girls – and Say: “O Muslims, O fathers and mothers, O my followers, be kind and compassionate towards children, for someone who is not kind to children has no place amongst the Muslims.”

Children are blessings: (Muslim children, Islam and children, Qur’an and children, Muslim Parenting)

Allah (SWT) says in Noble Qur’an: “Kill not your children for fear of want. We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you. Verily the killing of them is great sin.” Noble Qur’an (17: 31)

Once a Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) submitted to the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “O Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) which is the greatest sin?”

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Polytheism”

The Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) again submitted: “And what next?”

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Disobedience to parents”

The Companion, Sahabi (Allah be pleased with him) submitted for the third time: “And which sin is the greatest next to it?”

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “To kill your children fearing that they will share your sustenance.”

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) and Loving Children (Rights of Children in Islam, Muslim Parenting)

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was very kind to children, especially to orphans. If he ever saw an orphan crying, he would stop whatever he was doing, bend down, give the child his Salaam (greetings), wipe away the child’s tears, put his hand on the child’s shoulder and say, “My child, why are you crying? Has someone hurt you? Come; let me take you to my house.”

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) would take the child home and treat him better than any father. He would bring the child sweets, cakes and honey and put them in the child’s mouth himself.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) used to tell his followers to love and be kind to orphans, especially the orphans of martyrs killed in the path of Allah. “They have lost their loving fathers,” he used to say. “So cheer them up and look after them just like a father. Their fathers were martyred in Jihad and for the sake of Islam and they have rights on you. Make their souls pleased with you by cheering up their children and looking after them.”

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was always attentive to orphans especially to those of the martyrs. He used to visit them and sit, chat and play with them He used to take care of their education and training. Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) would strive to solve their difficulties and always offered them guidance and advice. He would bring them gifts and, if they were poor, he would respectfully provide their expenses.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) was so kind to orphans and laid so much stress on them in his teachings that one of his companions (Sahaba) said: “How I wish that I too was a young orphan so that I would receive kindness and love from Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as).”

Islamic Sayings: Involving Parents in the Education of Their Children (Muslim Parenting)

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: A virtuous child is a fragrant flower from the flowers of Heaven.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Be kind to your children, and excel in this kindness.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Have your children to learn swimming and shooting.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Train your children in three things: The love of your Prophet, to love the Ahlul Bayt, and the recitation of Noble Qur’an.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: When your children are grown up to seven years, teach them the prayers, and when they are ten years old, seriously admonish them for it (in order that they establish prayers); and separate their sleeping beds from each other.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The child is the master for seven years and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he builds a good character within 21 years, well and good, otherwise leave him alone because you have discharge your responsibility before Allah.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: Among the rights of the child over the parent are three: To give him a good name, to teach him to write and to marry him when he comes of age.

Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: When a person’s son matures and he has the financial ability to marry him but does not do so, the boy will commit sin and the sin will be on the father.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: May Allah have mercy on the one who helps his child towards righteousness by being good to him, appealing to him, teaching him knowledge, and training him.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The right of a child upon his father is that he should give him a nice appellation, train him well and teach him the Noble Qur’an (with its rules).

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: No milk is greater in prosperity than the mother’s milk for the baby to suck from.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Mould clay as long as it is pliable and plant seedlings while they are still supple.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: A child that has to be restrained is like an extra finger: if you let it be, then you dislike it, and if you cut it off, then it is painful.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: It should be your aim to display more kindness towards your child than the kindness that he displays towards you.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: If you scold a child, then leave him room to turn away from his wrong action, so that you do not leave him with obstinacy as his only way out.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Since you sat down wherever you wished when you were small, sit down where you do not want to now that you are grown up.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The first things that children should learn about are the things that they will need to know when they become men.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: The more forceful the pretence is in the beginning, the harder it will be to keep up the pretence in the end.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: Surely the heart of a child is like fallow ground: whatever is planted in it is accepted by it.

Imam Ali son of Abu Talib (as) said: When a father beats his child it is like putting manure on a young crop.

Imam Sadiq (as) said: Take action in teaching traditions (of Ahlul Bayt) to your children before the corrupted persons precede in corrupting them.

Imam Sajjad (as) said: The right of your child is that you know that he has emerged from you in this world; his right and wrong are attributed to you. You are responsible of his fine teaching and training, guiding him to his Lord, Almighty and Glorious, and, assisting him to obey Him. Therefore, be sure that if you do a favour to your child, you will obtain it; and if you act viciously against him, it will come back to you, too. Tarbiyat-e-Aulad



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