However, sad to say, your beginner’s faith usually degenerates. Flashes of success and wondrous manifestations of higher power or intelligence may dwindle in number and frequency. As your faith dwindles, you may begin to doubt everything. You may, as many do, doubt the existence of higher consciousness and consider yourself a fool for your enthusiastic conduct on the path. Your path itself may begin to blur and diffuse before your frustrated gaze into nothing. You may even deny its existence. Who knows where you will run or what you will do when your faith dissolves?
In reality, when your faith seems to become ineffective, you are likely making some big mistakes in attitude and understanding. You have probably forgotten vital points in this important area. The chief error is moving too soon from a humble switch flipper into a “cosmic shooter.” As a “beginning beginner” you do not presume to tell higher consciousness how it should work. You acknowledge your ignorance but have a conviction that higher consciousness is real, present, and will express positively and wisely in the areas you request. You lovingly and thoughtfully flip the switch of your faith and leave it on.
But, as you begin to succeed, you may forget the essentials! With each apparently perfect application of your faith, you may begin to get the crazy idea that you are the cause of tremendous results, that you are the power! You may, as many do, begin to get the unsound idea that whenever a problem comes up or a person is sick, you can transform or heal with your “cosmic gun.” You feel yourself to be a potentially great devotee who has become a worthy “gun man” selected to shoot evil down wherever it lurks. No longer humbly asking that a greater power, by its will, judgment, and goodness, please move into a problem or suffering person, you have become arrogant. You no longer ask that the higher will be done but that higher consciousness should serve your will and perhaps ill-conceived purpose — like it’s a hireling or slave.
The higher consciousness is very indulgent of beginners. It will continually encourage your growth in faith, even if you don’t do everything correctly. As long as you’re sincere, eager, and humble, higher consciousness will be accessible to you and help you grow.
However, if you become self-preoccupied, or try to dominate other people, you will suddenly find (but slowly realize) that your power has been turned off. Your higher consciousness will not aid in your arrogant projects or self-destruction. Your very loving higher consciousness will wait until you mature and again attune with it, in humility and appreciation.